ABOUTCHIPTER
"The world needed a seismic authority on chips. We answered."
OUR MISSION
We eat chips so you don't have to eat bad ones. Every bag undergoes rigorous scientific evaluation. No chip escapes our scrutiny.
Since 2026, we've been quantifying what others call subjective. Crunch can be measured. Flavor has metrics. Even disappointment has a number.
"We take chips seriously because someone has to."
THE CHIPTER SCALE
Barely registers. These chips exist only to disappoint. We've eaten them so you know to avoid them.
Finally, a chip worth discussing. These earn our first badge of recognition. Your taste buds will notice.
These chips shift paradigms. They command respect. You'll remember where you were when you first tried one.
Approaching perfection. These chips redefine the category. Other chips orbit around them.
Theoretical. Perhaps impossible. We've never awarded this score. We're still looking.
METHODOLOGY
CRUNCH
Measured in decibels and structural integrity over time. We have equipment.
FLAVOR INTENSITY
From whisper to scream. We document the journey.
AFTERTASTE
What lingers when the crunch fades. For better or worse.
SEASONING DISTRIBUTION
Democracy matters. Every chip deserves equal flavor opportunity.
BAG-TO-CHIP RATIO
We measure the air. We count the chips. Math doesn't lie.
STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY
Can it survive a dip? Support toppings? We test limits.
THE REVIEWERS
Our reviewers remain anonymous. Not for mystery. For integrity.
Combined chip consumption: 47,000+ bags
Countries represented: 12
Favorite chip: Still searching
Least favorite chip: We don't speak of it
"We are united by crunch."
SUBMIT A CHIP
Found a chip worthy of evaluation? Discovered an abomination that needs documenting? We accept all challenges.
SUBMIT FOR REVIEWCONTACT
Press inquiries: We don't do interviews.
Sponsorships: Our integrity is not for sale.
Complaints: Save them for bad chips.
"We'll find you through the chips."